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March 09, 2008

Comments

Lori

i think your point about how under-praising could also make a child seek out praise more is a really good one.

when i was running the private school, we were always talking about trying to take ourselves out of the equation - encourage the kids to set their own goals, evaluate their own progress, and make determinations about when they thought they had accomplished their goals. we didn't want them looking to us - we wanted them to own the process and care most about their own opinion.

partly i think we need to come to agreement on what "praise" *is*, because i do the same sort of acknowledging of what i love about my kids, but i don't think of it as praise. i would say "i love your stories" to my son, but i don't think of that as praise - praise, to me, is "good job! you're awesome! you're so smart, so pretty" kind of language, if you know what i mean. (so maybe i'm not as bad as i thought! ;^)

thank you *so* much about your kind words about my blog!

(and blizzards always make me introspective, too!)

xoxo

Melissa

I agree with Lori about you making a good point. I have read and heard from several places some of the same stuff about how too much praise can take away a child's intrinsic motivation,but I think children really look to their parents to let them know that they are okay and I think it is almost programmed in people to seek the approval of their parents. I don't praise Sammy for behaving, but I do sometimes thank him for behaving--is that the same thing? When he obviously wants me to comment on something he has done or made, I say things like "you worked hard on that" or "I like how many different colors you used." What do you think of statements like that? You have inspired me to think about how much I tell Sammy what I appreciate and love about him, I think that is a good way to go.

Melissa

Hey, I have been wondering how you get those pictures of the books on the sidebar.

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